*~ Aisle 12: The wonderful world of suds ~*
 

He caught each one of the boxes she threw at him, and proceeded to eye them with equal suspicion. As far as his understanding went, they all looked the same, smelled the same, did the same job, and only varied in the matter of shape and color, which really was immaterial.

“Do you honesty need five different kinds of soap?”

She turned swiftly on her heals, marched back to him and snatched the boxes from his hands. She held up each box, one by one, to his face.
Box one — “I like the strawberry scent, it actually smells non-artificial.”
Box two — “No other brand creates bubbles like this one.”
Box three — “Makes my skin shine like I’ve done nothing but wax myself for days.”
Box four — “This doesn’t sting when I have cuts and bruises all over my body.”
Box five — “… I like the little kittens on the wrapping.”

With that, she dumped all five boxes of soap into the cart with a look of finality on her face. He stared down at them for another minute before lifting his head.

“Frankly I think you’re being just a bit anal retentive.”

She blinked indignantly at him.

“Well, I don’t expect you to know anything about the wonderful world of soap variety since what, you take a bath like, once a month? Frankly I think that’s just a bit disgusting.”

“Yes, I take a bath once a month, but every other day I get a free ride in the washing machine.”

“Hn, that reminds me, we’re out of laundry detergent…”

“You should think of changing brands, the old one stings my eyes.”
 

*~ Aisle 2: Junk food heaven ~*
 

“You know how disturbingly unhealthy these things are…?”

She picked up one of the various obscenely colorful plastic bags, studied the writing on it, and grimaced. She didn’t mind the occasional snack foods, but she just couldn’t stand him cluttering up the cupboard with magnitudes of this sugary stuff which roughly contained the same materials as weed killer.

“No, I’m afraid I don’t read the little nutritional value boxes on the back of the packaging,” he replied without turning around, then grabbed another bag off the rack and threw it over his shoulder into the cart with startling accuracy.

“You know, I just watched a whole documentary about this on TV the other day. Do you have any idea the kinds of stuff that go into this?”

He turned slowly and gave her a flat look.

“They smell good. They taste good. They melt nicely in my mouth. I couldn’t care less if they were made out of cow puke.”

“I’m serious, Zenki, there’s like 50 different kinds of preservatives in here.” She dangled the bag with two fingers, wriggling it like it was some dead animal. “Not to mention the food coloring. Do you see this green? No shade of green should ever have to look like this.”

“You got your soap collection now let me have my sugar puffs!”

“… Fine. You want to mummify your insides and gain sixty pounds, go ahead.”
 

*~ Aisle 5: Java ~*
 

“You know I hate the smell of that.”

He wrinkled his nose as she shoveled can after can of those vile-smelling grains into the cart. The kitchen was always filled with that god-awful stench in the mornings, and he had to sit outside and wait until the smell faded to the point where his nose would stop reacting to it before he could venture in to raid the refrigeration unit. If she was going to consume that horrible stuff she should have the decency to make it outside.

“Nobody can resist coffee.”

He snarled. “It makes me sneeze.”

She sighed and shook her head remorsefully.
“If you had to get up at six AM every morning, you’d learn to love it.”

“I don’t understand how you can live off that stuff,” he muttered, following the traveling cart down the aisle.

“There are many things you don’t understand, Zenki, and the list is growing by the minute. I wouldn’t trouble myself over it if I were you.”

“Are you implying that I’m ignorant?!”

“Oooooh, look, fifty percent off—”
 

*~ Fruits section: Fresh off the rack ~*
 

“I think we have enough bananas to feed an entire colony of monkeys, Zenki.”

She looked down into the growing mass of yellowness mounting in the cart. This was probably one of his only purchases she couldn’t berate him on. The speed at which he consumed bananas could only be described as… terrifying.

“You can never have too much.” He lifted another batch, gave it a quick inspection, then dropped it into the cart along with the many, many others.

“You know, I’ve never asked. Why do you like bananas so much?”

He shrugged. “They smell good. They taste good. They melt nicely in my mouth.”

She rolled her eyes. “……. Let that be the cryptic saying of the day.”
 

*~ Vegetables section: Colorful veggies ~*
 

He made a face as she carefully selected one, weighed it in her hands, ran her fingers over its surface to test the texture, then placed it into the cart with a satisfied smile.

“There’s just something so wrong about a bright purple vegetable.”

He glared disapprovingly at the purple monstrosity lying in the cart.

“Eggplants are a wonderful source of a number of vitamins and minerals as well as fiber,” she replied, hands still searching through the pile for her next target. “And a serving of eggplant is only 25 calories.”

“Not to mention it looks really unattractive when cooked, all soaking in its own rotten yellow juices, disgusting shades of purple and blue all mixed in with that—”

She looked up from her hunt and gave him an incredulous look.

“You always eat all the eggplant I make anyway!”

“Doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it.”

“.……………. You are strange, strange creature.”
 

*~ Meats and poultry section: Rare, medium, raw ~*
 

She shifted uncomfortably as she felt the curious looks of the other shoppers boring into the back of her head. He was as oblivious as he ever was, completely immersed in his act of removing package after package of meat off the racks, and sniffing each one.

“Zenki, people are starting to stare.”

“Just a sec.”

He picked up another package, brought it to his face, and gave it a good sniffing.

“Seriously, you’re starting to accumulate a crowd.”

Appearing displeased with it, he threw the package back and picked up the next. She tilted her head sideways and tried to subtly notify him that what he was doing was a little more than plain embarrassing. Somehow… somehow, he had developed a very specific taste for the meat a third of the way from the left of the middle of the hind leg and three quarters of the way down from the spine. He then decided that every time he had the chance, he was going to have meat from that portion of whatever livestock he was consuming. Though she would never know how he could figure out what part of the animal it was by simply sniffing it.

“….. At this rate we’re going to be here forever.”

“Just give me another minute!”
 

*~ Frozen foods section: Thanksgiving in January ~*
 

“Zenki, I’m not buying that turkey.”

“If it’s the size you’re worried about, I will eat it.”

“I know that, but that’s not the point. Put the bird back into the freezer.”
 

*~ Aisle 10: ……. ~*
 

“What the -hell- are those?!”

“Feminine products.”

“……….. I don’t even wanna know.”
 

*~ Aisle 8: Stationary ~*
 

“… Are you really intending to use all those post-it notes?” He stared intently down at the mountain of post-its that rivaled the bananas in yellowness.

“It’s such a deal… I can’t resist…..”

“What, buy one get thirty free?!”

She looked down at her loot. “I’ll find some way to use em’ all…”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“Maybe I can use them to patch up that hole in the roof…”
 

*~ Aisle 4: Children’s toys ~*
 

“Put that back. I am not walking up to the cashier with that.”
 

*~ Aisle 3: Look who’s here ~*
 

“Hidy ho, Chia…. Ooh la la, and what do we have heeerre? *grin*”

“Hi Chiaki-chan! …… Zenki. *small sweatdrop*”

“Hey guys!”

“Well love birds, lets see what’s on the shopping list today…”

“… We’re not together. *vein pops*”

“You’re doing your grocery shopping together. I think that says something.”

“*cough*marriedcouple*cough*”

“…. Did I hear something?”

“No, no, must be the breeze!”

“We’re indoors, Ako. There is no breeze.”

“Hm, let’s see now… meat, veggies, detergent, tampons……… uh, what do you need fifty stacks of post-its for?”

“…. They were on sale.”

“Never could resist the ‘s’ word, could you.”

“………???………”

“So, uh, *cough* how long have you guys been se…-s-shopping together?”

“*GU-FAW!!*”

“*VEIN POP.*”

“Well, we started disagreeing on the shopping list a while back. And when I refused to get him what he wanted, he insisted on getting things himself.”

“Ah, I… see.”

“Wow, Zenki, that’s hoooorrible, how ever do you put up with her?”

“Har har, funny funny.”
 

He seemed to be pondering that question for a minute, before answering slowly.

“…. Well. She smells good. She tastes good. And she melts nicely in my—”

“WOOAAHKAAY, lookit the time, my goodness, we best get going huh Sayaka or we’ll miss the three o’clock specials!!!”

Ako very promptly turned and pulled Sayaka away with her down the aisle.

“Ja, Chiaki… *sweat drop* ”
 

…
……..
…………..
 

“…… You know, that was really, really unnecessary.”

“…… I’m not the one who bought half a cart of post-its.”

“Shut up.”
 

*~ In the middle of line ~*
 

“Okay, tell me again exactly why you need all that soap?!”

Owari ~*