(Akashi, Aren, and Ban tried to return to the mystical fortress of the Underground mini-B Mafia to retrieve the treasure chest, but they were denied entry by a mini-B-guido who denied the existence of the shelled peanuts and suggested they leave before anyone got hurt.)
(Three weeks later, police intercepted a run of Black Market peanuts en route to South America.)
(A-chan, B-chan, and the mini-B-wok's sit on the scenic balconey of the Mansion by the Sea. B-chan enjoys a cup of warm cocoa while A-chan works on increasing her immunity to rat poison.)
B-chan: *sigh* Such a lovely day.
A-chan: *sigh* So quiet, too.
B-chan: Especially with Darshu in the 53rd Dungeon. You can't hear him screaming that far under the ground, like you could when he was in the 32nd Dungeon. Having Ranma dig deeper Dungeons as punishment for getting so drunk was a good idea!
A-chan: Has anyone wondered where Bush and Gore went?
B-chan: Nobody's come asking, and the news channels have resumed reporting on things other than the elections. Looks like Clinton's in the clear for another 4!
A-chan: Wow! I knew they were annoying, but I didn't think Gore and Bush could be killed without consequence!
(Meanwhile, in a suspicious-looking truck parked outside the Mansion...)
FBI Agent Dogget: (pulling off his hi-tech satellite ear phones) That's it, boys! A verbal confession! Let's get 'em!!
(A militia of SWAT goons storms into the Mansion, and before A/B-chan know it, they're being held at gunpoint!)
A+B-chan: WHAT THE #&$^(@*^@%($*&$@%#^%!?!??!?!?!?!?
FBI Agent Scully: You have the right to remain silent!
FBI Agent Dogget: I knew this Mansion was connected to the Black Market peanuts! Look at all these Oompa Loompas!
FBI Agent Scully: (pointing to B) And this one must be their leader! Tell us the secret of cloning, you X-File-Waiting-to-Happen, you!
B-chan: ... They think I'm X-File material? I don't think they've been to the Domme Tower of Pain yet...
FBI Agent Dogget: And look at the Oompa Loompas' clothing, Agent Scully! They're also responsible for the illegal Ewok poaching that was reported a few weeks ago!!!
A-chan: This no look good...
B-chan: COME, MY MINIONS!!!!!!!!!!!
(All the concubines appear on the balconey... 13 flunkies [Darshu still in the Dungeon] + A/B-chan + 20 SWAT guys + 2 FBI agents + 10,000 mini-B-woks finally becomes too much strain, and the balconey cracks, caves in, and begins to fall... from the 108th floor!!!)
All: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Slade, mid-air, transforms into Teknoman and flies to catch B-chan and the mini-B-woks.)
B-chan: Oh, Slade!! MY HERO!!!
(Nuriko screams.)
A-chan: WHAT ABOUT ME?!??!?!
Slade: Sorry, barely enough room for 10,002!
B-chan: Try flapping your arms faster!
A-chan: ...... (tries) ...... HEY!!! THIS ISN'T WORKING!!!!!
(Along comes the flying mechas Sheherazad and Escaflowne from opposite directions.)
Aren: I'll save you, A-sama!
Ban: No, I'll save you, A-sama!
(The stoopid gorfs end up playing a game of chicken and crashing into each other and falling to the ground and exploding.)
(Still falling....)
A-chan: Well... (looks at the FBI and SWAT dudes) ... at least I ain't gonna die alone!!
(Lo' and behold, down from the heavens, through the clouds emerges an alien space craft! All the X-File FBI and SWAT agents are abducted before they would have hit the ground.)
(Still falling...)
Flunkies: Don't worry, A-sama! You'll die with US!
A-chan: THIS SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Xelloss: Zenki, you're a demon, can't you fly?
Zenki: Not in my sealed form! Can't you fly?!
Xelloss: Sure, I can. But that would take all the fun out of this! ~WHEE!!!~
Touga: He's a sick one, there...
Chiaki: Hey, all this breeze is blowing up A-sama's skirt!!
Touga: What is it with perversion of the mind in A-san's harem?!
Utena: You are so not one to speak, Touga! You're in B-san's harem!!
Touga: What's that supposed to mean??
Utena: If Scheider were here, it would be more obvious.
Ryoga: Where are we going?!
Utena: But for now, Ryoga illustrates my point nicely.
Touga: Oh...
Tamahome: If Schneider were here, he could fly and save us all, but he's in the 53rd Dunegon!!!!! WAAAAHHHH!!!!
Utena: Wait! That's right! Dark Schneider CAN fly! COME HERE, LUCHE!!!!
(Utena kisses Luche and nothing happens.)
All: *gasp*!!!! UTENA'S NOT A VIRGIN?!??!?!
Utena: Stupid Akio and his stupid penis-mobile!!!
Touga: Holy Revolutions! I knew that sneaky bastard was gettin' some from you! Can I at least get a kiss before we die???
Utena: NO!
A-chan: Hey! Lob Luche my way!
Zenki: What for?? It's not like THAT would accomplish anything!
(Utena sends Luche flying over to A-chan. A-chan kisses him and he becomes... DA-DA-DA!!! DARK SCHNEIDER!!!!!)
DS Luche: I HAVE RETURNED!!!!!!!!!!
All: A-CHAN IS A VIRGIN?!?!??!?!???!?!?!?!?!?
A-chan: Whaaat? You thought someone like me would ever settle for conventional sex?
Akashi: (waiting on the ground, trying to see if he can catch A-chan) *sniffle* IT'S TRUE!!!!
All: Eeeeeeeeee.... That's so wrong...........
A-chan: Luche-kun! Save me!
(Yay! A-chan is saved by the flying DS Luche. Luckily, Nuriko is the first to land on the ground, and all the concubines know how strong he is, so they deliberately aim to land on him, knowing that the stud can take the weight. All is made well again. A-chan kisses DS Luche and he returns to cute widdle Luche again.)
(Teknoman lands.)
B-chan: A-chan! You're okay! Well, at least physically... Mentally, you're a walking time-bomb...
A-chan: Wow... we conquered all the evils of the world, and even got a stab at a good number of innocent bystanders! Not bad at all!
B-chan: B-but... My balconey was imported marble tile... *sniffle*
A-chan: Don't worry! Ranma'll pay for it!
Ranma: ????
B-chan: You will, Ranma?! For meeeeeeee~?
Ranma: *gasp!* YES, MY B-SAMA!!! I SHALL!!!!!! FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!
Nuriko: B-sama... I'll pay for it, too!!
Slade: Pitiful.
A-chan: Hey... what's that over there?
B-chan: Huh? What, where?
A-chan: That thing... sitting there in the rubble. It's a sealed box—must have been cemented into one of the balconey stones!
(A-chan goes over to play with it.)
B-chan: NO, A!!! STUPID, DON'T OPEN IT!!!!!!!!!
(Too late.)
THE END!